Under the Water
by thelegendofappa
Summary: SUICIDE TRIGGER WARNING. Korra and her thoughts after her bending was taken. Title and story are inspired by the song Under the Water by the Pretty Reckless.


It was over. Amon was gone, the city was safe, and Korra was alive.

But was she, really?

She looked down at her hands, her _useless_ hands, which could no longer bend the water below the cliff face, the earth beneath her feet, or the fire which once resided within her. She felt so _empty_ inside, as if everything that meant something, that had made life worth living, had been stolen from her.

Korra looked over the edge of the cliff as the water crashed against the rocks, pushing and pulling (like she used to be able to do). The wind whipped her cheeks and bit at her lips as she realized that she couldn't even bend her native element. Korra had lived in the Lotus Compound since she was five, missing out on a lot of her Water Tribe Culture. But whenever she felt homesick, she would play with her waterbending and smile, thinking, _I'm still Water Tribe. _But now, that was gone. A vital part of herself was missing from her, and nothing would ever be able to fill it.

Korra remembered all the years she had spent in the Lotus Compound, practicing and practicing for hours on end until she got her bending moves right. She would train until her muscles ached and her bones creaked, until she had become a master at three of the four elements and was on her way to master the fourth.

But all of that training had been in vain. It was gone, and she had nothing to show for all the years she spent pushing herself to the limit. All wasted in a few moments, because she wasn't quick enough. Korra was a failure, a disappointment, and she had let down everyone she had cared about.

_You can't do anything right,_ the voice in her head hissed. _You were a mistake, you're not worthy to follow in Avatar Aang's footsteps._

Korra sunk to her knees and buried her head in her arms as big, fat tears rolled down her face. Because the voice was right. She was a screw up. What kind of Avatar could only bend air? _She was a failure._

But there had to be something that she could do to make up for it. Because she was really no use anymore, to anyone. It was like she had told Mako when he chased after her; _I'm not the Avatar anymore._

And as Korra looked out at the waves crashing violently against the shore, she realized that there _was_ a way to make up for her shortcomings. The answer was below her against the jagged rocks of the cliff.

Korra drew in a sharp intake of breath. She had never really given much thought to dying, but now the option was staring her right in the face, and she didn't have much of a choice. The Avatar cycle had to start anew _somehow_, she thought grimly.

Korra thought back to the stories of all the past Avatars, and how they had done whatever needed to be done for the sake of humanity, whatever the cost. If she couldn't be the Avatar through her bending, then she might as well fulfill her duty to the world with a final sacrifice.

The time for being a child was over, Korra decided. Pain, loss and death were very real things. Korra needed to own up to her faults and do what needed to be done to make up for them. Without the Avatar to guide the world, chaos would be even more rampant. And who was to say that the destruction would be contained in Republic City?

Korra gazed out at the icy waters as tears continued to fall from her vibrant blue eyes. She was a flawed Avatar, not like the Avatars before her. She wasn't brave like Aang, or wise like Roku, or even fierce like Kyoshi. Korra was reckless and impatient. She couldn't do _anything_ right. What were the spirits thinking when they chose her to be the new Avatar?

It doesn't matter, Korra thought. Because she was going to fix their mistake. Her heart beat frantically as she realized that this was it. She was going to die. This was the end of Korra.

Korra tilted her head to the sky as the tears fell faster and thicker than ever. She bit her lip, apologizing to her wonderful parents who had always loved her. They were proud of her, even though she was a terrible daughter and Avatar. They always saw the best in her, even when she couldn't.

She thought of Tenzin, Pema, and the airbending babies. Tenzin had been her dad away from home. He was always there for her. He had been patient with her had put up with impulsive nature. Pema was such a gentle and kind woman who had been like a mom to Korra. Korra's lips twitched upwards a bit as she thought about Meelo, Rohan, Ikki, and Jinora, who were so full of light and happiness that it made her heart break.

Korra thought of Katara, her waterbending master and adopted grandmother. The old woman had been the only one in the White Lotus Compound who accepted and loved her for who she was. She was probably so disappointed in her, Korra realized.

She thought of Bolin, Asami, Lin, and all the new friends she had made in Republic City. She had broken Bolin's heart; another thing to add to her list of mistakes. But he was so sweet and gentle and kind that she doubted that he would have much trouble finding some other girl who would treat him right. And Asami was such a brave, smart girl who had been so kind to her. Korra hoped that she would find what she needed in life, and hopefully have success in whatever she did. Korra thought of Lin, who she had been too late to save; another shortcoming of hers. Korra apologized to the former Chief of Police. It was all her fault that Lin's bending was gone.

Korra thought of Mako, the first, and last, boy she had ever loved. She had let him down in so many ways, and now she was going to die without him ever knowing how she really felt about him. He didn't deserve to be burdened with such a failure like her. She thought of his golden eyes and how they had looked at her when he had confessed his love for her. She thought of the kiss she had shared with him back in Republic City. She replayed all the memories they shared together, the good and the bad.

But he would get over her. They all would.

Korra stood up on shaky legs as she peered over the cliff face. A glittering tear fell from her face and descended into the water. Korra shivered. This is what had to be done. The Avatar cycle had to continue. Someone else needed to replace her. She was a mistake. Korra wasn't wise enough, quick enough, or brave enough to be the Avatar. Korra prayed to the spirits that the next Earth Nation Avatar would have better luck than her, and would succeed in all the ways she had failed.

The tears in her eyes burned and rolled down her cheeks. She choked out a sob, wrapping her arms tight around herself. She prayed that her final act of sacrifice would allow her to be remembered as a brave Avatar, despite her failures.

This was it. This was the end of Avatar Korra.

She took a step towards the edge of the cliff, arms straight down by her sides, and her resolve firm.

_ I"m so sorry Aang,_ she thought. _I've failed everyone._

She took a step closer, the wind whipping her face and chilling her tears. She brought the image of Mako's face when he had confessed his feelings to her mind. It was comforting.

Korra had one foot off the cliff, prepared to jump, before she heard a man's voice.

"I'm so proud of you, Avatar Korra."

Korra whipped around, nearly losing her balance and falling of the cliff.

It was Aang, donned in Air Nomad clothes with a smile on his middle-aged face.

"Avatar Aang," she gasped, wiping at her tears. "I was-I was just about to-" He held up a hand, moving towards her.

"I know what you were about to do. And while I can't say it was the right thing, I'm so proud of how selfless and brave you have grown to be."

Korra was still confused. "But why are you here?" She asked. Aang puts a hand on her shoulder, gazing at her with warm, brown eyes.

"Because you have finally connected to your spiritual self, Korra. You were willing to _die_ in order to renew the cycle of the Avatars. When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change." Aang placed his other hand on Korra's forehead and both of their eyes flash white. Roku, Kyoshi, Kuruk, Yangchen, and all of the past Avatars appeared behind Aang. Korra gasped as the emptiness inside of her was instantly filled and power surged through her body. Aang removed his hand from her shoulder and forehead. He stepped back, and the Avatars of the past disappeared with him.

Korra lifts herself into the air, her eyes glowing white. She sends a gust of air, fire and earth from her and bends the water beneath her to raise up a wave that crashes over the cliff. Korra exits the Avatar State and descends to the ground again, her heart beating with new life as she truly _feels_ all the elements; the earth beneath her feet, the air being sucked in and out of her lungs, the fire within the pit of her stomach, and the water of the ocean she was so familiar with.

The crunch of ice alerted her that someone was behind her. Korra turned around to see Mako, smiling like crazy. Korra ran to him and leapt into his arms as he swung her around, both of them laughing.

He set her down and she cupped his face, gazing into golden eyes that she thought she might never see again.

"I love you too." she whispered. Her lips meet his, and they shared a kiss, much better than their first one. They break apart, Korra's eyes sparkling with joy.

"I'm so happy for you." Mako breathes, his arms around her waist.

"Me too." Korra replies truthfully. Because she realized that she _wasn't_ a useless Avatar. There were people who needed her, who loved her. And looking at Mako, she understood that she wasn't alone in this "Avatar" thing. Her friends, mentors, and family would be there to help her. Korra shuddered as she thought of what might have happened if Aang hadn't shown up.

But it was okay now. Because she was alive, _truly_.

_ ((Okay, so that was some heavy stuff. I nearly cried a couple of times while writing it. I apologize if that was triggering for anyone, but I _did_ put a warning. I just feel that since Korra grew up in a compound where she was only valued because of her bending, a lot of pressure has been put on her from a young age. She only felt of value if she could bend all four elements, because she believed that it was the only thing that made her special. She might have felt like a failed Avatar after her bending had been taken away, even if she did defeat Amon. Hope you guys enjoyed it.)) _


End file.
